A Higher Influence

July 6

In the midst of my confusion, my immersion in the world of external things, I can be penetrated by a much higher influence.

This changes everything; and suddenly I enter life in a new way in which love and relationship are the first experiences I encounter. 

They're present as living forces that receive everything else that takes place.

In this way I become the representative of an awareness that lies at the root of all creation. I understand the world and life differently. My physical experience, my feeling, and my intelligence all cooperate; and I see how different this is than my usual separated nature.

The odd thing is that when my nature is separated, I’m barely aware of the fact. When it comes together, the condition is obvious; and yet from the other side of Being, it’s invisible. I become the invisible man; I cannot see myself clearly. My self rediscovers a direct relationship to that sacred place of joy and sorrow in the soul which lies so close to God that it cannot be touched or easily spoken of; and that relationship is not so often present in me.

I don’t think that it’s that I’m not worthy of it. There are parts of me that are not aligned properly. The fact is that these parts only align with help from that selfsame higher place; the soul only finds itself within itself under the influence of God’s Love, which flows into being through mysterious channels at the heart of creation. I’m not in charge of those things; I don’t control any of it. I can only digest as much of this food as I’m prepared for; and the meals are prepared for me accordingly.

Folks who read my diary are probably by now accustomed to my habit of running down threads of narrative in complex and interesting ways. It is a task; and I do my best to discharge it according to the flow of intelligence in me, which is equally a part of this creation we participate in, and not my own property. 

Yet to participate in something deeper, which touches at the root of the soul, carries a different responsibility; and I do not speak out of place when I say that this sacred responsibility is a much greater thing than any intelligence can chase down and weave into colorful and intricate fabric. It comes with a depth of color and texture that is beyond the threads of intelligence and the loom of creativity as we understand them. It lies closer to the heart than any ordinary experience; it brings the riches of the kingdom of heaven and deposits them in a safe place, where they cannot be touched or corrupted by what is coarse and common.

We should each of us live in such a way as to be prepared to receive this force. All of the goodness we can find in life is transmitted through its grace.

Under this light, which is much greater than the light of any earthly sun, all things discover their own perfection. It is here within this life and within my own being that the table is set and I am offered a moment where the peace of God which passes all understanding can enter me.

And so, with great good fortune, I return to this place which Love has made and which is so freely offered, without any expectation of recompense.

The heart of its stillness enters me.

I see that I am lost and do not know where to go; yet the hand of the Lord reaches to me from the darkness and says to me, 

Child, be quiet. I am with you. 

And so I am told,

Go, then, into life

And find yourself in Me,

For there is nowhere else that you can be,

No words you can find,

No thought you can think, 

No love you can feel, 

That is not of my gift to you.

Go deep in your heart, and be well-

Lee

Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.