Resolution and Being, part V

By simplifying the relations between my various inside parts I become a better steward of myself. I learn to let go; I let each distressing and complex event pass into a new and simpler form in which it simply is, and I allow myself to move into it, through it, and onwards— as best I can.

9. To reduce, transform, or change to something else.

10. To untie or loosen.

My inward life can be transformed. It’s certainly changeable: as Jeanne Salzmann once said, the only thing I can change is my attitude. 

By untying and losing these inward knots I’ve twisted myself into, many new things can become possible. In doing this, I’m conforming more generously to the actual conditions around me, which are also in a constant state of change.

11. To answer or to solve, as a question or argument.

12. To remove, clear away, or dispel– for example,  as in doubt

13. To decide, to determine what's up.

14. To determine or decide upon.

I'm engaged in a lot of inner arguments. Almost all of them revolve around this belief in resolution of one kind or another. Most of them are attached to my outward circumstances. If I look at myself quite carefully, I see that my inner arguments are seldom actually directed at how I am inside: I don't look at the individual parts of myself and ask them about how they’re behaving, what their relationship to one another is. Instead I look at what's going on outside of me—and argue with myself about that. 

With this suggested inner action—this approach to an inward resolution of Being—I’m interested in trying to clear up my inward doubts about what is taking place by removing and clearing away the complexities, the demands for permanence, the assumptions, the tyranny. 

I want to determine what's true now.

I want to take responsibility for how I am inside, right now.

15. To free from doubt or complexity; to bring certainty, clear understanding.

This now obsolete meaning of the word resolve –common, according to the OED, in the 17th century –most ably illustrates the hope born of an effort of inward awareness. It describes what Gurdjieff would have called an objective state. 

There are those who argue that such a state is functionally impossible for human beings; yet it’s an absolute fact that when the 3 centers are acting in conjunction with one another, at higher energy levels– through their voluntary abilities —objectivity of this kind is normal. This is a true resolution—a resolution of awareness, which is not attached to any outward thing, but has the ability to move within all outward things: to be fluid, to maintain (on this microcosmic level) efforts towards the properties of God which can be manifested within life: Wisdom, Mercy, Endlessness. To form relationship.

Together, exercised within awareness, these three properties of being create a higher expression of that unique and inexpressible property…

which we call Love.

All of this bears repeated examination. Once it becomes clear that Being is not a destination, but an action, and one releases one's inner obligations from the rigidity instilled by a constant demand to resolve everything, a new inner relaxation becomes just a bit more possible. 

Of course—especially here—I should never expect perfection. I’ll always need hell in order to maintain heaven. It's the balance between the two that matters; and if there is anything I ought to keep my eye on, it’s this.

Wishing the best for you on this day,

Lee

Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.