Jan. 23, morning

 Jan. 23

One inward breath.

Allow the breath to go outward.

Do it once more. Let it flow out gently according to its own weight and rhythm, follow it into the solar plexus.

Take a third breath, deeper. Attend to the inward flow of the breath as it arrives. Then take note of the moment when it turns around and begins to feed the sensation at the top of the breath, and begin to participate just a little bit more actively in that, without touching it: just feeling it, just allowing it.

I want to come into relationship. The word relate comes from the Latin root —relat, to be brought back. This in turn comes from the verb referre, to be carried back.

Both of these roots are interesting. If I am brought back to myself, do I do this myself through my own effort? And if I am carried back to myself, is it because an outside agency helps me? Either one could be true? But in each case, it implies that relationship means I return from somewhere else. 

If I return from somewhere else, where was I before the effort at relationship began? My attention wasn't here. I was identified; involved with myself and my thoughts, not being brought back to my immediate circumstances and the other objects, events, circumstances, conditions, and people and other beings around me. For example, my cat. Or any other being.

I practice relationships through outer considering, through the action of paying attention to other beings instead of myself. Inner considering is always some form of self – involvement, a collapse back into the ego and its concerns about itself. So outer considering is an effort that goes against the ego, that weakens its grip on me. 

If I return to the body, already, I begin to see the body as another part of myself, different than this mind I am in. By attending to the breathing, I attend to its needs; when I exercise or I go to the bathroom I am also attending to its needs, which are generally a bit different than my own plan for things. I can learn from this.

I can also learn from the cat who has a different plan for everything. The cat is it own cat, not my cat, and in an interesting way, if I study it carefully, the body is also its own body, I happen to inhabit it, but it would be wise of me to form a good relationship with it and see the difference between my mind, my feeling, and my body. If the body's needs are properly taken care of and attended to, many things will go better than if they aren’t.

So here I am. There is a sensation in me; and if I attend to it, it feeds a kind of relaxation and there is perhaps a bit of an opening at the top of the head. then something new and more vital than the ordinary energies can flow into me and inwardly form a different quality of attention. Very, very little of this higher energy — a fraction of a milligram – is all that is needed, so little that it weighs less than a feather; yet it has as much power as all of being in its self, and that fraction of a milligram can change the entire state, beginning with sensation and initiating a circulation that brings the parts together into a more intelligent whole.

To attend to this, this morning. This is a task worth the effort.

with warm regards,

Lee