The Fineness of Being

Colégiale de Candes—St. Martin 

Jan. 5

We're made of finer materials that have an animated nature we're unable to fully appreciate.

There's no point in trying to invent magical words to describe this material. It transcends our understanding in the receiving of it; already, it demands an understanding that rests on a recognition of my own ignorance. I'm nothing in the face of it; and even though I'm filled with the ordinary world, this tiptoe approach to my own nothingness can become an active service in itself.

I stand on the edge of this world, carrying all the luggage that I live with from day today. 

I find myself with suitcases in hand even as I'm touched within by this finer material. 

I recognize its value and cultivate a relationship with it that becomes more durable over time. 

It reminds me constantly through its presence of how worthless most of what I do is, and how unworthy I am. This doesn't mean I devalue myself. It simply means I understand my value in relationship to a higher force. That is not a taking away of value, but a right ordering of it. 

I'm reminded of how undeserving I am; and this is the general condition that mankind lives in. 

Undeserving.

Yet Grace is sent.

This generosity is endlessly merciful; I'm duty-bound to pay greater attention to it, because it brings a whole and perfect lesson about how I ought to respect my own life and treat others.

Today, 

May your heart be close to God, 

and God close to your heart itself.

Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.