A Broken Heart, Part IV: Left Behind

Detail from The Apocalypse Tapestry

Photograph by the author

To be eternally damned, which is the overarching theme of evil among the medieval Christian mystics such as St. Catherine, fits well with Church doctrine and dogma. Yet the inner mystical traditional of the Catholic Church has always known, in its heart of hearts, that this idea is what Gurdjieff would have called formatory—constructed from an extraordinarily complex, but otherwise decidedly superficial understanding of the matter. The deepest experience of  Divine Love and Wisdom reveals at once—in a single instant— that no such thing could ever be possible. God’s capacity for mercy & forgiveness is infinite.

Yet souls do get left behind, trapped in a bell jar of their own sin: a closed system where remorse does not—cannot—act. Fire, to be present, needs three things: a spark to light it (an increase in heat from outside the system), matter to burn and air (oxygen) to help it. A closed system, a jar into which no air can penetrate, cannot ignite.

What is this “spiritual air,” this catalytic quality that can begin to ignite the action of remorse? It is, quite simply, my capacity for seeing, which must become unselfish.

Now, one rarely, if ever, hears a discussion about inner seeing which discusses its quality. The presumption, perhaps, is that we either see—or we don’t. Yet this isn’t the case at all. Seeing itself can be either selfish or unselfish; and unless we’re in alignment with the action of Grace (help) even our seeing is selfish.

Think about this carefully for yourself in regard to your own work. 

What do I see for? 
Why do I see? 
How do I see?

If seeing is all done on my own behalf, so that “I’ll be better,” I’ll improve; if seeing is about me and how I am, already it violates Gurdjieff’s premise of pure and impure emotions. (See Gurdjieff’s seminal essay The Meaning of Life.) I’m not objective; my seeing begins tainted with the idea that I have a right to judge myself. 

There’s a very subtle and vital difference between the self-judgment of selfish seeing and the objectively discriminatory judgment of remorse of conscience which is conferred only by the action of higher energies; the difference ought to be clear, and if it isn’t, there’s a problem. 

This concept of unselfish seeing, of an objective inward vision of myself, can become an evolving focus within me. I need to understand how to see on behalf not of myself, but of God; and indeed, as those familiar with his methods know, Michel de Salzmann oft emphasized this idea of seeing on behalf not of myself, but the Lord. This is, to be sure, a higher level of impressions that what’s usually available to me; yet the good news is that help for this kind of work is sent. This is what God’s Grace and Mercy may inwardly engender: the capacity for an unselfish seeing.

Part V of this seven part series publishes on Dec. 6.

An additional note to readers:

...New installments from The Inherent Wave of Being— A Treatise on Metaphysical Humanism will begin Jan. 2020. 

If you haven't read the original series of posts, it published between September and November 2018.

May your heart be close to God, 
and God close to your heart.

Lee

Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.