In the Midst of Life

Royaumont Abbey

Feb. 20

Waking up this morning. 

I submit to the daily disciplines I’ve established for myself. In every case there’s a resistance—which I assiduously ignore. Inner forward movement carries me into the next event—and once in it, it’s acceptable. A duty, an obligation. Coffee, prayer, yoga, exercise, breakfast. Many things need to be done in preparation for the day. There is even, during this time (in which sensation does not leave) to think a bit about John Thompson’s fine book about oriental carpets.

In this way the average things of the day get accomplished; and yet always, accompanying them, the sensation of Being. 

Sensation develops as an organ which accompanies the organ of breathing. Eventually I see that sensation is to Being as breath is to life; it’s the sustaining force without which there can be no attention, no vividness of vibration. Even when it recedes it continues to sound as an undertone that accompanies everything in life and reliably colors it. 

That color is the color of being alive; of receiving life as a gift. Each time the undertone is allowed to dominate, a quietness fills the inner cathedral. It’s paradoxical: a stillness born of vibration, within vibration. 

Life passes moment to moment; and it is always ever this moment. So every time the undertone becomes dominant it’s now; and it carries now forward into itself and of itself. This means that with the undertone, now is always here: not in some other place.

Living in this way becomes as vital as the breath that feeds it. 

May your heart be close to God, 

and God close to your heart.

Lee

Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.