Some thoughts for this morning.
Today I wish to go deeper into Being.
Being is life; and I want to inhabit life, not my own beliefs and attitudes about it.
My beliefs and attitudes are separated from truth because they are subjective; and I really don’t see this. I constantly ascribe an objectivity to me that isn’t there. It’s absolutely true that if I am open to a higher influence, an objectivity can be expressed; but the first characteristic of that state is that my ordinary state is passive. I consistently discover that this is so. It is so because my ordinary state doesn’t know much of anything about the truth, and so when it is actually confronted with it, it doesn’t know what to do. In fact, the passivity is the best response because when my ordinary state is passive, at least it doesn’t do damage.
I’ve been observing my behavior in the midst of life and I have constant questions about how to come to other people and circumstances with more inner honesty. This is a difficult and painful thing. Unless I form a better relationship with the good things that are true and that flow from the Lord, I am always led astray by my own reactions and opinions.
It reminds me of an insight I had last week at which I realized that no matter how earnest I am in my intention to live according to God’s principles, I will go out today and sin. Those sins aren’t even considered sins in the ordinary world; all of us are expected to rationalize, bully, and to lie to each other in a thousand different ways each day, as a matter of routine. We’ve all arranged things so that we agree this is permissible; we rationalize them to claim that it’s necessary. The condition is universal. One can't blame anyone, really. The failure is collective, although it expresses itself one individual at a time.
Yet there is no comfort in this for the discerning mind, that is, the mind that attempts to be present and divide right from wrong according to sacred—not personal—principles. The world is adept at the manufacture of excuses; but if I want my inward world to become more whole, I cannot allow it to proceed this way. At the same time, I am weak; I need help. So it’s only from the inward flow of something finer that is emanated by God that anything good can come; and I hope that today I will come into a more intimate relationship with that finer substance at least a few times. That is not, of course, up to me; except insofar as I make a better effort to attend to my own relationship to Being.
To Be is actually a very simple thing. It’s right next door to all this nonsense I am filled with. So I hope I remember to go over to the neighbor today and knock on that door a number of times; and that my neighbor is home.
Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.