There are Starry Lights of Uncertainty in Her Eyes
Created digitally on the iPad Pro using Procreate
Lee van Laer, 2016
So here I am, continuing my Tuesday morning soliloquy of May 10.
Readers who study The Reality of Being closely will see that the question of coming into relationship with forces — specifically, of course, higher forces, although she often glosses over the fact that we must absolutely and irrevocably also come into an equally sound and grounded relationship with lower forces — is essential to any real understanding of practical work in the moment. Most work in the moment consists of one form or another of dreaming about working. If we learn to see ourselves, we become, I think, quite surprised to see how much of our "work" consists of just this kind of dreaming, if we are honest with ourselves. We think we are serving ourselves a full cask of wine every day, but in fact, we sip a thimbleful if we are lucky.
Coming into relationship with the forces that drive manifestation involve an inhabitation of the material, and an awareness of the way desire and power attempt to shape it. We can only see this if we acquire Being; and then, Being must be purified.
Readers who doubt that this precisely and exactly recapitulates the entire meaning of de Salzmann's teaching, as it relates to the enneagram, ought to turn back to the link from the last post; and then, most specifically, to her remarks from page 52, where she explains the question of purification, that takes place at the position of the note la, and has an intimate relationship with the question of intentional suffering.
Of course, for those who study the system carefully, it should come as no surprise whatsoever that the diagram so precisely reflects her teaching; there you are. How else could it be?
To me, the biggest question here is how my relationship to this world (and these worlds) I live in and the forces that act both within me and within this world of my life, which is entirely composed of many different forces, can be inwardly formed in such a way that I understand the question of service she so succinctly brings us to. What am I serving? Why should I serve it? I can't know the answer to these questions unless I come into relationship with a higher energy; until and unless I come into relationship with the Lord.
I had an experience related to this seeing of the action of forces within me a week or so ago, before I returned to China on this most recent trip. I was filled with a very helpful energy; and I saw at a certain point that I am secure in the Lord.
This phrase has a specific inner meaning, and refers to a state in which the molecular and organic inward state of Being has assumed a well ordered, protected, and assured state as the result of help from a higher level. These things do not happen easily or come lightly, and much payment must be offered, many sacrifices must be made, in order to become secure in the Lord; yet if one has this experience, one realizes that all of that payment was nothing in comparison with the support that is sent. We truly do live in a universe of forces; and the love, mercy, and compassion that can come to us in a very material sense is the benefit of our inward religious practice. These are not things one can do anything with; and they are not ideas to impress ourselves or one another. They are just facts of the inner state, in which a person can come to know the infinite love and compassion — the mercy and the intelligence — that all of these forces represent.
The generosity with which we are formed, the love which inwardly forms us, is what helps us to become secure in the Lord. To the extent that I make an inward effort, so do I become secure in the Lord. There is, in my own experience, no greater privilege than a sensation of this, undeserving as I objectively am.
I live every day within love, life, and prayer, in the hope that I can come to sense this compassionate action within my Being, and turn myself over to the forces that can help me to purify myself.
Lee van Laer is a Senior Editor at Parabola Magazine.