Sunday, July 26, 2015

What is self-individuality?

Tenryu-Ji, Kyoto

Some additional musings on this subject.

Gurdjieff used the term self-individuality  term to describe what he called a “perfection of Being.” 

This is, furthermore, a degree of perfection of Being, not the ultimate perfection of being. Perfection, in other words, is not perfection. To be perfect is to be in a state such as to allow no further improvement, to adhere to an ideal. In this case, we can clearly infer that perfection is hierarchical... that is, that a degree of perfection can be such that there are still other perfections possible, that there are, in other words, still imperfections within this degree of perfection.

We can liken this to a single note within an octave, which can be tonally pure and perfect within itself, refelcting an exact and conforming rate of vibration, yet allowing that other notes of higher rates of vibration exist. 

While we can be sure it’s a higher than ordinary degree of being,Self-individuality thus contains imperfections. One can come to the inner realization of self-individuality without being perfect.

My thought on it, based on some pondering—in conjunction with a number of years of experience in such matters—is that a state of self-individuality is such that one is able to realize one’s imperfections

It is, in other words, an awakening into what I am; not what I wish to be. This though relates to my recent post about the same subject.

I think, as I experience and analyze myself through the thinking mind, that I am seeing something about how I am; yet its only and ever through this sensing of what I am through sensation that I really gain any traction on the question of my actual being, as opposed to my theoretical being. Everything od the mind is of a theoretical being; only through the living medium of experiential sensation can the theory be tested. 

It is this testing of the theory of what and who I am that’s truly interesting; this takes place not within the mind but within the organism. The mind reveals itself to be a rather untethered creature, wandering here and there; tied to the body, its attention deficit begins to find a compensatory mechanism. 

I'm not what I want, or wish, to be; through sensation (not thought) I begin to see my insufficiencies. This is a form of trial, because it appears that I have to go through this life, which is a quite difficult task now, seeing more clearly. 

There is a long distance to go within this experience, and there are no guarantees. Attainment of responsibility does not confer a guarantee of honor.


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