Sunday, April 12, 2015

Sorrow, part III

This essay is illustrated with a 
photograph of an Apsara from Angkor Wat, Cambodia.

A friend pointed out this morning that, while they felt the second essay in this series represented what sounded like an intelligible extension of the things that Gurdjieff said on the subject of sorrow, he had never experienced this emanation, and wished they had a practical example of what I'm talking about.

One of the reasons it is so important to come to a much more intimate sensation of one's being — and I use the word sensation to speak of a higher physical vibration, a cellular vibration, an atomic vibration — is that this intimate sense is the place where it becomes possible to receive these particles. 

That only takes place, in the end, after years of work of being in a more serious and sobering relationship with sensation. It is the root of Being; and although it is in the body, which serves as the receiving vessel, it is not of the body. We can only come to a real understanding of the way that the higher nature intersects with the lower one by opening the vessel to sensation in this way. Yet that's not something we "do;" and although this inner work bears a relationship to works that presume the Yogi can "do" something, it comes equipped with a paradox.

One only develops will in order to use will to surrender itself. One must, in the end, have will in order to give it up. As long as one does not have real will, one is the property of one's impulses; and that is slavery.

Of course, we remain slaves of the material world in this life. That's the way things are arranged; perhaps it's our resentment of it that alienates us from God. Yet it is possible to bring one's own inner intimacy far enough along a path that leads to a point of contact between the soul and God so that a taste of freedom arrives, so that higher vibrations arrive. This only takes place through intimacy, because what needs to be seen and surrendered is so close to one's own being that it is sexual in a higher way, that is, it relates to the reproductive powers of the soul, which are very different than the reproductive powers of the body. A close reading of Meister Eckhart's texts will teach, after long years, the way in which the fecundity and creativity of the Lord enters and answers Being; and although he did not speak of it outright as a sexual encounter, the inferences are clear enough.

One should be careful not to confuse this with various teachings about sex energy and the sex center, because we touch here on subjects whereof those are only crude analogies. Most of the things that are said about sex energy and its transformational ability hold some water, but one has to be very careful with this, because the coarse analogies available here are only a blurred mirror of the interaction between the soul and God.  One comes up against the mystery of the virgin birth here, which means something quite other than the outward or literal appearance of the matter.

I am constrained from saying more about that. One has to look deep within oneself and come into contact with these mysteries in order to begin to form a relationship to them.

I've mentioned a number of times over the last months that Grace is the only force that can truly bring change within Being. This Grace acts with an intimacy that needs to be invited without restraint, requiring a very perfect and detailed scrutiny of the inner state. One has to look; one has to see. Yet here again, looking and seeing do not mean what they appear to mean; and nothing is ever so crude and obvious is the way words make it seem.  

We love our own coarseness; be suspicious of it.

 One has to come to the place where one has the most to lose, and perhaps has already suffered the most loss, and be willing to take it directly into the heart; then, something new becomes possible.


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