Friday, February 13, 2015
An irrevocable nature
That is to say, it, too, becomes fundamental to one's work. This means it stays active in everything that takes place.
A relationship to God which acknowledges my subservience in my place, my nothingness, relies first and forever on this organic sense of feeling, because my understanding of my position has nothing to do with distance, location, or the measurement of any physical proximity. I can't see where I am and what I am without feeling; because in the same way that sensation tells me that I am, so feeling tells me that I wish to be.
If I want to understand this question "I am — I wish to be" I need to understand at first from the sensation — I am — and then from the feeling — I wish to be.
Thinking these things with the mind doesn't do any good. They have to be understood with the organism, because the organism is the part that can have an understanding of sensation and an understanding of feeling. I can't come to an understanding of sensation with my mind — I come to an understanding of sensation with sensation. And I can't come to an understanding of feeling with my mind — I come to an understanding of feeling with feeling.
This may sound like some clever form of sophistry, but it is fundamentally true. I can't understand German using French, and I can't understand English using Chinese. Language has to be understood within the context of itself.
The organic sense of feeling needs to become as permanent as the organic sensation. That is to say, all three parts need to be awake, active, conscious of themselves and their relationship to the other two parts.
As I grow older and my own inner work changes, I remind myself more and more that it is this inhabitation that must be understood. The need is to organically inhabit life through an active sensation, and active feeling, and an active intelligence. The idea is to live with in it, as though life were a home. It's something like the idea of taking refuge in the Dharma. At least, one might characterize it like that; I'm not quite sure how to describe it, in any event.