Thursday, October 2, 2014
Not my thing
I've recently run into a number of people engaged in inner work at various stages of their lives who believe exactly this; and I'm pretty sure most students of inner work—esotericism—secretly presume this is possible. It is, after all, our fondest wish—to be the gods of, if not the whole world, at least our own lives.
It occurs to me over the past two days first, how absolutely and profoundly mistaken this idea is, and second, how equally absolute the secret inner belief in this is.
The inward flow, and the arising sensation itself, can do. These are not my properties—and if I think they are, it's certain I haven't ever actually experienced this energy; in this case, anything I have experienced is imaginary and egoistic. Ego can mask itself in an extraordinary number of ways to mimic real higher energy; it is a shapeshifter or chameleon in this regard, and one must be forever on one's guard in relationship to this question.
Again, I'm called to a question from a reader who recounted a range of experiences and asked, "is this and that or such and such what you mean by an organic sense of Being?"
If you need to ask, I told them, you haven't had such a sense; because if you do have it, you won't need to ask what it is; you'll know. Conjecture, in other words, is dispelled by real action; and real inner action that can do is an absolute that diminishes. I ask readers to ponder that phrase if they don't know already and quite instinctively-prayerfully what it means.
There is no part, no capacity, in humanity that can do. There is a capacity for receiving that which can do; and yet even that capacity is emphatically not under our own agency. A kind of passivity entirely unfamiliar to the ordinary parts of being (those horizontal parts under this order and hierarchy) is necessary; and any touch whatsoever, even the slightest part, that attempts to physically, psychologically or emotionally impose those conditions of receptivity begins at once with a contamination by ego that blocks the action of the higher energy.
The energy is under its own volition; it is voluntary, that is, it arrives under its own agency, not mine. This mistaken "understanding" that my agency can invoke the energy is sheer foolishness; and if the energy arrives at once I know this. I can meet it; but this is as much as I can do, and when it meets me, then something is done, but it is not my thing. It is not a thing, anyway; but I think strictly in terms of things (this is all the mind is capable of) so I turn it into a thing, and then already I am wrong.
The meeting point is the place described in the Lord's prayer: Thy will be done. We call it the Lord's prayer because the Lord has will and agency, and the Lord can do. This is worth thinking about, because we generally think we are the Lord, even as we actively profess to ourselves and to others that we don't think this.
This is in itself a lie; and seeing how I secretly believe I am the Lord isn't really even possible unless the Lord arrives within me, because by myself I am quite blind, really.