Question. As "I" am observing myself lately, I notice a difference between when I really observe myself — the passive side observing the active/personality. When what seems to be happening, Personality or some "I" connected to it seems to observe, accompanied with an internal dialog and pictures, expectations of what to find.
The difference is the first kind of "proper" observing flows freely and feels freeing, and the second one seems like there's an inner dialog, and pictures are trying to see other pictures, and so on.
This kind of working seems to me to be too technical.
I would recommend you invest in your sensation first; don't try to break things down into components like this. See your whole Being from the perspective of sensation.
I need to erect the structure of my being from a wholeness that begins inside me; that is where sensation comes in. There ought to be a full and living sensation that animates everything I am. I don't use my head for this; my sensation is what counts, and i must live within it—not try to make it live within me. The first action is definite; the second, a fantasy. I can't make sensation alive within me; but it lives on its own, if I should choose to discover it, cooperate with it.