Friday, July 11, 2014
A Natural Inwardness
This natural inwardness ought to be the root of experience; and it always ought to be present, because it is the beginning of what I am. Yet the only natural part of myself I know very well is outward; and that direction is essentially unconscious, that is, it is inhabited automatically and without any effort.
Natural inwardness, if it develops, includes its own rate of the vibration and a natural gravity that draws a life in towards it, instead of going out into that life. These are quite different movements; and I can be familiar with them both to the extent that I don't think as much as I usually do. I need to stop thinking and start sensing; I need to engage myself with the texture of experience, the granular nature of sensation in a fineness of vibration that arises in the body and occupies all of me.
This is where the intimacy begins, in this texture of experience. The texture of experience is not a hypothesis; it needs to become a fact. This is exactly the kind of fact that Gurdjieff was referring to in In Search of the Miraculous when he said to Ouspensky, "There will be facts."
For Ouspensky, all facts were of the intellect, things that could be deduced and rationally organized. It never occurred to him that a fact is an unassailable truth experienced through sensation; and that these are the absolute facts, because the organism, although it begins with a fundamentally subjective expression, carries sensation as a manifestation of the objective within it.
My thoughts can and will lie to me; my emotions will overreact. But I can rely on my sensation; it's not a liar, it doesn't have it in its nature. In this sense, it can be trusted; there is no devil in it.