Thursday, May 22, 2014
The work isn't out there, some other time
I begin to think that the work is out there, in that other special person, or with those special people, at that "other" special place and time. It's later. I will go there, and have a terrific time with those people, and then I'll really work.
This gives me an excuse to never see that I need to work here, and I need to work now.
Inner work is never out there and someone else; and it is never out there in another place or at another time. This is simply impossible, yet I always imagine it that way. There is only one place that the work ever is, and that is in me, and there is only one time that it ever exists, and that is now.
Every action of imagination that puts it in another place or another person damages my effort to know myself.
It is essential that I always attend to my own inner process first and not outsource the energy for my efforts to some other person or circumstance. This outward turning, in which some outward form or outward action by another individual will help me, is delusional. Only I can form the relationship within myself which can help my inner work. I don't really see this; a thousand rationalizations and arguments and convictions are out there to convince me otherwise. And every one of them turns me away from the essential task, the responsibility, which I have to be intimate with myself.