Thursday, May 22, 2014

The work isn't out there, some other time

There is a great danger in believing that special conditions help me work.

I begin to think that the work is out there, in that other special person, or with those special people, at that "other" special place and time. It's later. I will go there, and have a terrific time with those people, and then I'll really work.

This gives me an excuse to never see that I need to work here, and I need to work now.

Inner work is never out there and someone else; and it is never out there in another place or at another time. This is simply impossible, yet I always imagine it that way. There is only one place that the work ever is, and that is in me, and there is only one time that it ever exists, and that is now.

Every action of imagination that puts it in another place or another person damages my effort to know myself.

It is essential that I always attend to my own inner process first and not outsource the energy for my efforts to some other person or circumstance. This outward turning, in which some outward form or outward action by another individual will help me, is delusional. Only I can form the relationship within myself which can help my inner work. I don't really see this; a thousand rationalizations and arguments and convictions are out there to convince me otherwise. And every one of them turns me away from the essential task, the responsibility, which I have to be intimate with myself.

Hosannah.


5 comments:

  1. amen, but kind of puts a dent in la maison, or special visits to G' apartment for serious meditation?

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  2. There are dents all over the place, everywhere, in everything.

    We have to live with that. ;-)

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  3. Oh yes! And I have such trouble with that....I have to 'suffer' my inability to not be annoyed by circumstances over which I have no control! Pauline de Dampierre once remarked in relation to a friend who had complained about the foundation, that "there will always be something that annoys her." And of course that's true for me - and I suspect I am not alone...I'm not sure that I will ever be free from annoyance...altho it's a good intention :)

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  4. We could modify Leonard Cohen...'there are dents in everything and that's where the light gets in'. Where evil abounds grace abounds.... etc

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  5. A transformation that can purge my negativity is possible. But I always think this can take place through my own agency (see the next post.)

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