Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Sensing and feeling, part I
The ordinary part of me is not connected to the inward flow of energy, and it doesn't understand it.
The part of me that can understand this is an intimate part connected to another level of truth. This part is always present somewhere within; yet it is buried. It isn't alive; or, rather, it's alive, but dormant.
The idea of my wish is the idea that this part can become alive again, can wake up.
In order for this to take place, a new kind of sensation and feeling has to develop within the body. This isn't a mental activity, it's not philosophical or psychological. And it isn't a physical activity, at least not in the way we understand it, what with movements, Asanas, positions, and so on.
It is above all a new kind of intimacy that is directly connected to an inward flow of energy.
I turn my attention quite precisely inwards, as though it were an exquisitely fine tool that could be used to repair a delicate mechanism. This is not any gross activity, and it requires a certain different kind of thinking which is open and not fettered with my ordinary concerns. It only contains a question, and the question is one of intimacy.
How close can I come to myself? Where is the value within myself?
I look very carefully for a finer vibration which exists within. Often, it is in the center of the body, in the center of the spine. This vibration is always present in human beings, even if one is unconscious of it, because this is the point at which the divine inflow is received in the body. It's true, there is a second point that receives this energy in the abdomen, but I am interested especially in intimacy with the heart, because this is the central location from which all Being emanates. Acquiring the force that is received in the solar plexus and the abdominal area is foundational; but the house in which the Lord can dwell only opens its door through the heart.
So my attention becomes very precise and inward. It touches something that is quite loving and compassionate, and emanates from a place where no worldly concerns can touch it. It has concerns, and they are very real, but all of these concerns are connected to Love, not this world and the acquisition of things, attitudes, and so on.
This force, this energy which flows inward to the heart, and outward from it — it is, after all, a kind of circulation — needs to become an active part of life within Presence. My inner work must become a living thing, and at that, it isn't even a thing. It is the force of Heavenly support which actively engages within all parts of life, at all times.
This is a gentle and delicate force which helps to question and helps to remind. It enlivens the body, the mind, and above all the feelings. So I have to be willing to be enlivened, which means, softening and giving up many of my attitudes and opinions.
I don't give them up outwardly, because they are necessary in terms of the outward life; but I see inwardly that they are invalid, and that the only valid thing is the inward flow of this love.