Saturday, September 14, 2013
Real I and the Truth, part II
One must learn to trust, from within. In order to do this, one must open to a higher energy; and alone, this will help to form the individual who doesn't lie.
This may seem like a platitude; after all, we expect to have to "do" inner work, and we believe that we can and will do that work. We think that through our own efforts and super-efforts we'll achieve the fusion of our inner parts and create real "I." All of these ideas (mostly promulgated by Ouspensky's accounts of Gurdjieff) mislead us into thinking that what we are now—a consummate pack of accomplished liars—can somehow produce an honest man.
We need look no further than the story of Sodom and Gomorrah to realize that it doesn't work this way. Only a higher principle can form real "I" in a human being; and all of the work one does in the direction of real "I" is nothing more than preparation. We can prepare; we can exercise patience; we can wait. But what we wait for is the inflow, the inward flow of the divine, which is what forms the honest kernel of Being that comes into right relationship with God and can receive the material necessary to form real "I."
Even then it's not guaranteed. Real "I" forms slowly, because when one first opens the strength of the thread that connects to a higher principle is slender and subject to disruption by the combined forces of the inner corporation. If we're looking for the real inner meaning of Jihad, Holy War, it's the struggle between these lower forces and the influence (inward flow) of a higher force that begins to take place. One must steadily cultivate one's inner eye to gaze upon the higher. This inner eye is never just an eye of sight; it is also an eye of sensation and feeling, that is, the inner eye sees with all three parts. So what it sees and how it sees is at best poorly translated into words. Yet it does see; and this essential action of coming into relationship makes it possible for a Being—an inner I— to be formed that can be trusted.
This is the informed trust of which I speak. It's an organic trust that isn't so easily violated by the corporate forces, who are generally dedicated to fracking Being until the last vestiges of its real worth are crushed and pumped out into external life, instead of remaining inward where their energy can feed the processes that take place deep with Being, where real growth is needed.
I have written before about Peggy Flinsch and her insistence that real work depended on trust. Towards the end of her life she sensed these questions quite actively and an interesting change came over her. I saw this; sometimes a single action by an individual can summarize everything they have learned during their lifetime, and as she neared 100 there were times where silently—with a single gesture that began inwardly but translated into a simple outward moment—one learned nearly everything one needed to know about work from her. She embodied it; it was no longer necessary to pretend in any way, and an extraordinary humility emerged. (This is how real truth always expresses itself once it firmly takes root in a human being.)
In any event, this inwardly formed trust must flower in a human in order to become a human Being. This is not trust in one's self; it is trust in the Lord, in this higher energy, this principle of divine influence or inward flow. Instead of attempting to discover a trust in the Lord from within the ordinary self, one must seek to see how one's ordinary self might be trusted by the Lord. This is a different order of experience.
And if one doesn't understand this picture in its entirety, organically, one's concept of work and one's work itself become corporate exercises in philosophy.
May your soul be filled with light.