Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Don't touch it!
It's interesting to watch the process of undergoing an internal time change. All of one's inner energies are turned upside down; the ability to receive impressions more deeply suffers badly for three or four days.
Then something changes; and one discovers a new relationship all over again. Even though it's the same relationship—a quite ordinary one—it has been forced to re-establish itself by turning upside down, and so it's all of a sudden appreciated more.
More often than not, this produces a "result" of one kind or another, that is, the deficit one is operating from eventually transforms itself and becomes an asset. A new energy is able to enter because of the disruption of one's ordinary state; and so the struggle to reassert the action of Time upon Being in a manner that is harmonized with the side of the planet one is currently on ultimately turns out to have positive spiritual benefits.
In any event, this morning I got up ready to return to work at my NY office, and was extremely negative. I'm always negative in the morning anyway, but this morning was much worse than usual. It seemed to be an active polarity of sorts, because just before waking up I had a remarkable dream about a wish-granting gem, a large topaz crystal. Inner conditions, the dream was telling me, were becoming beneficial; but upon awakening, the inner energy was quite bad.
One has to overcome such things in order to move into the day; and in this what's needed is a great deal of ignoring one's self and how one is.
That kind of exercise is essential; one needs to not only see one's self, but to learn to in a certain sense ignore what one sees. Too much of it is basically damaging and under bad influences, which is typical, I think, of all of us; and we need to turn our heads away from that even as we see it. Not to try and correct it or deal with it, not to try and fix it: no, one must not touch it. It's trying, after all, to attract us and consume us; and as best we can, we must not agree to be food for our own negativity.
The negative parts want to touch me; they are strong and have all kinds of unpleasant impulses. Interestingly, they are quite aware of themselves and the more they are ignored, the more strident they tend to become, thinking that making more noise will allow them to touch me. There are many things our negative parts want, but above all they would like us to pay attention to them; and so it is our absolute duty and obligation to actively pay attention to other things which are not entangled in this inner nonsense.
To just look straight ahead is enough. One need not look either to the left or the right, from whence these lower inner influences come; one looks straight ahead, perhaps even without thinking—with a blank mind, a mind open to the possibilities of the future but in any event and at all costs not focused on these negativities which are breeding like small, biting insects inside us.
In looking straight ahead, one faces the unknown: but it is objective, not contaminated by the negative, just unknown.
After a morning of this effort, eventually, a much deeper sense of self arises. It is gravitational, grounded, and draws life—real life, not the life of the imagination— in around it gently, until one senses the there-ness in one's Being.
This there-ness has an unassailable quality... because it has been earned, not taken for granted.
May your soul be filled with light.