Monday, May 13, 2013

The state of prayer

One of the things I don't see is that almost all of me is negative.

This can be corrected, through Grace; but it cannot be corrected by me, because the cause cannot correct itself by itself. What I am, manifested, is already in complete opposition to the Lord; and this opposition in me is unknown, unexamined, and unconscious. This complete opposition is a direct consequence of my material manifestation, which lawfully places me in a denying position relative to The Lord from the very first instant of my arising. (Those who don't understand this fundamental principle of materiality are encouraged to study the question as it's expounded at the enneagram resource.)

 To the extent that I surrender myself, my negativity can dissipate; and indeed, to the extent that I manifest such that there is no self present, to that extent, and that extent alone (through the Grace of The Lord) life and manifestation become transparent, and the Light and Will of The Lord are made manifest. This can never happen by me but only through me to the extent that I am not me; and indeed I must become other, which is only possible through Grace.

 One of my convictions is that I am positive in one way or another. I'm unable to sense the fundamental untruth of this, except by a very long and radical practice of seeing. Even that which appears to be positive is never positive at all, in any way, except to the extent that Grace infuses and suffuses it and to the extent that Christ (whose Name is Grace itself) is present.

 I am a long way from Christ. Mary's Grace is immanent; Hers is the First Grace which can be encountered and made manifest. Christ's Grace is transcendent; and although this Grace is the True Grace to which we are all ultimately called, it's only through Mary's Grace that we can approach it, and then only through long and arduous inner labors.

 To this end I pray; and in our age, the most efficacious prayer I can apply is, "Lord have Mercy, Christ have Mercy," a prayer Gurdjieff understood quite well as essential to inner work. I must pray constantly; because I am perpetually in negativity, only the Divine agency of a higher energy can deliver me from this condition.

 These are mysteries which must be lived, and need no proofs.

May your soul be filled with light.

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