Friday, April 12, 2013

Bitterness, hardness, cynicism, anger

 The outer part of the self is subject to many influences that degrade it. Personality, it seems, has little in it that speaks of unity; so often, it seems that it is at war, not only with others, but with itself. This reminds me of a comment Gurdjieff made in Beelzebub in Russia:

 "At first, as long as these upstarts who had accidentally been brought to power carried on the petty intrigues proper to them just among themselves, it was still only 'half a calamity' for the common undertaking; but when, thanks to all kinds of 'maneuverings,' intrigues began between all the members of the League, and they broke up into different 'factions'--a pernicious custom which is very widespread there and obstructs the actualization of every promising beginning--then even such a good beginning as this League, founded for the general welfare of contemporary three-brained beings, began, as they say, 'to crack at the seams." ( Beelzebub's tales to his Grandson,P. 559.)

 The issue of political factions is hardly the point here; our Being cracks apart at the seams on the inside. And this is exactly why the outside reflects that kind of situation. It's largely because of the acquisition of a wide variety of negative attitudes that this takes place; negativity is, after all, the first and foremost cause of a lack of unity. And negativity arises primarily because egoistic impulses, which attempt to dominate everything, are frustrated. 

If we wish to have non-desires prevail over desires, we need first to see that desires are selfish. Outer considering is an essential part of beginning to understand unity.

Bitterness, hardness, cynicism, and anger are all part of this process. Wherever they arise, and wherever we try to use them as hammers to break apart the frustrations and inconsistencies of life, we just do more damage. It surprises me to see how much of these qualities are thrown about by people who claim to be on spiritual paths. The incessant bickering about which version of Beelzebub, for example, is the "correct" one. Individuals who engage in this kind of destructive argument see no contradictions whatsoever in their behavior; and this is exactly the point. There is a deep and complete unawareness of the very nature, of the root, of the problem. It may seem redundant to point out that self-justification justifies itself, but this particular question isn't understood properly in an inner sense — by the time self-justification begins, by and large, a wrong inner action has already taken place,  because a selfish result can only arise from a selfish action. 

Human beings just don't see that none of this matters — they don't see that, that is, until they are actually close to the moment of their own death, at which it becomes apparent that this entire enterprise was about something other than our opinions. By that time, of course, it is too late to take any decisive action that could change matters.

 There is a need to leave all of this nonsense behind and invest in a sensation of the divine, which unifies. The sensation of the divine, the inflow of a higher energy, quiets all of this noisy, egoistic claptrap, because it puts it in perspective and reminds it that it is part of a larger order. If we are truly under the influence of higher energies, we let go, and there is no point in breaking into inner (or outer) factions who argue with one another. We begin to see that life has nothing to do with garbage of this kind.  But this can only take place if a higher energy — the Lamb of God — enters us. This, and only this, is what takes away the sins of the world. 

We do not take away the sins of the world ourselves.

If a human being does not display softness, receptiveness, and an inherent understanding that their ego manifestations are in the greatest part destructive forces, things just go in the same old way they always do. They crack at the seams.

We must hold ourselves to a higher standard. The temptation to sink to the lowest ones while believing that one is engaged in a pure or sacred activity is strong; and it's easy to succumb to it. We believe in our own Will so much more than the Will of any higher force; and one of the greatest functions and evidences of sleep is that we do not see this, not in the least.

 We must go against such tendencies in every part of life, as much as possible, and develop a consistent willingness to humble ourselves and surrender our opinions, our ideas, and our negativity. This is not an enjoyable activity; which may be why so few of us are willing to do it — so few of us, that is, in an inner sense. 

 May your soul be filled with light.

1 comment:

  1. amen again :) If I had read these posts 3oyrs ago I might have left the foundation even earlier...

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