Friday, March 22, 2013


 Another one of my early morning musings. I woke up this morning at 3 AM and have pondered many things.

Recent speculation has suggested that the implication of quantum theory is that the multiverse is real. But one does not have to go out into the cosmos to discover a bubble universe.  Each human being is a bubble universe.

An inner work is primarily understood to be a work in life; a work that one carries within oneself throughout all the various circumstances in life. Yet the tendency is to wrap oneself up in such work like a sheet of saran wrap, to immerse oneself and surround oneself with it so that it absorbs one, and almost all of the time, one's compass needle points towards the organization, the special events, the meetings, the retreat weekends, and so on.

No one questions this. Are we not zealots? Look closely.

 The outer nature and aspects of an inner work can absorb a man or a woman like a sponge. Even the most esoteric organization has this difficulty in front of it; and even the ones that reject the very idea of churches become churches, with people who sit in solemn attendance, listening to scriptures being read. The delusion is always the same one, from work to work: that we know more than the other, that we have a secret  advantage over others...  and that we aren't like them.

Everything of this is of the ego; yet our noble cause erases that understanding, doesn't it?

Everything is God's thing. There is no thing of man; and yet we cling to the things of man with the very same fanaticism we deny we manifest. If we were truly to go out in life with our inner work as the core of our life, the center of gravity of our understanding would change; we would see that there is no salvation in the cloisters. We can hide there, but we can't run: the space is too short and narrow, no matter how filled it is with beautiful mosaics and paintings.

When the outer work becomes the object of our affection, the inner work suffers.

 This is so difficult to see. The inner work can only be inspired from within; the special conditions which supposedly foster it help some, but they become a center of gravity that attracts belief, and belief is the death of objectivity. There must be an inner objectivity, an objectivity born of a new kind of understanding, which is not just intellectual. It must be organic, and it cannot afford to live within special conditions; these may ultimately stifle it, because its requirement is that it live out in life within a wide range of sweet flowers that provide the nourishment it must acquire if it would grow.

And it is this sweetness, this absolute sweetness of relationship within life, which is the absolute special condition. Life is a special condition; look at how short it is. Is this not special? Yet we want an even smaller box to live in, as though the shortness of life was not already enough to remind us of where we are and what we are doing.

 I think about this sweetness often, because the entirety of life is what must be offered, not the parts that are artificially constructed to appear sacred. It is all sacred. This is what seeing is for. If it does not see this, it is not seeing; it is nothing more than documentation for the filing cabinet.

 So I go out and I try to offer myself to my life with generosity. I try to remember that I must bring forth the sweetness that the Lord has put in me, rather than the bitterness I put in myself. I try to remember that every man and woman is somehow worthy of my respect, compassion, and support, and I try to remember that I can only remember that through the sweetness that the Lord has put in me. It's not, after all, me that is sweet; no, I'm a sour thing, myself.

But the Lord has given me responsibility for this sweetness which He owns; and if I do not attend to that, what am I worth?

 May your soul be filled with light.


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  3. This is what struck me:

    "it absorbs one, and almost all of the time, one's compass needle points towards the organization, the special events, the meetings, the retreat weekends, and so on."

    How can one leave? There is so much holding one to the people and the organization and if you look closely, you can see people bringing the same being and the same laments year after year, and yet one cannot break free, because there is a synergy which creates a spiritual consolation that is deadly (in my opinion).

    For those who know, it can yield up secrets that can be gotten in no other way, and for those it is truly a school. But who stays in school forever?

    Will you be there sitting and movements and work periods in thirty years, having only moved up in the hierarchy.

    I had a man come to me to study. I told him of Yogi/Fakirs who might point to the sky with the index finger of their right hand, FOR TWENTY YEARS.

    My friend shook his head and said, "What a waste of life!" I asked him what he did and he told me that he worked for IBM selling large copiers to big companies and was rewarded with a huge salary and faux glamorous life, and I said, "Oh. What a waste of life."

    Who is the better off of these two? Could there be a gradient to the meaning and value of each person's life?

    As I read the book on Mr. Adie, he said, and I paraphrase: "A man does not have the right to squander his life. Something must remain." And what does Swedenborg call the remains? The body of a man, and it falls at death where it stands and remains.

    How long? Mr. G would send people who couldn't leave on their own away, using whatever pretense made sense in the moment, even taking on the appearance of a nasty prick. How then would you, so wrapped like Gulliver, held down by a thread, but many little threads have built an almost impenetrable wall and a circle of exitless inertia.

    To train an Elephant, when it is very young it is held to a stake by a large and very impressive chain. As the Elephant grows,it is held by a smaller and smaller chain, because it has fought the fat chain and remained unfree; then as it gets older it stops fighting and develops an emotion that even a thread cannot be broken, so it no longer tries.

    This is how I see the foundations and societies; schools where conscious theft is what is both taught and gotten. Being alone hurts. I suffer endlessly, and sometimes wish I could return to the soft bosom of the groups and second line of work. But I am to suffer.

    Dietrich Bonhoeffer may have said it best: "When Jesus calls a Man, He bids him to come and die"

    And also: "It is a great consolation to be with our brethren, but we are not to live among our friends, but among our foes, as Jesus died to pay for the sins of his enemies"

    So we too,in Mr. Gurdjieff's Work, are not to always have the consolation of our people to return to every week or month, but to go as seeds float through the air, landing far away and praying we land on a good enough ground in which to find conditions to sprout, and since the teaching is within us (If we have truly worked), we ARE as the first Christians were, in a hostile world alone.

    If we have the benefit of having a brother to walk with so much the better, but we cannot take the building and all their plans on our backs.

    I think carefully before adding to your splendid "causes of pondering", but once I begin typing, I no longer think at all. Often I have to read it later to find out what was said, because some of it is not said by "me".
    Agape,Peace,and Conscience,

  4. What I meant to say was it's a great post....and Richard's comment is v valuable. I know that Lee does not want to 'throw the baby out with the bath water' and does not walk away from the foundation...

  5. Paul,

    It was one of the most painful and arduous things I have ever done, to become severed from my participation with the Foundation, but for I, it was necessary and part of my destiny. It still hurts like the devil and is a permanent reminding factor for me.

    I still speak with and consider Lee one of my closest friends, and I maintain a contact with several others from my group and beyond, and I am on the public record as a follower of Mr. Gurdjieff. Some are meant to maintain secrecy about their involvement, and do so remarkably, whereas others, like myself, are fated to shout it out to anyone who follows my career(rock music) or my musical teaching, which is quite esoteric.

    My contact at the Foundation, who knew G in his last 2 years, as a teenager, and whose parents were his students from the 1920s, once said to me when I was thinking of leaving pop music and going into science, "You someday may be able to take the work where no-one else can, as we have plenty of doctors and scientists, but hardly anyone in the rock and roll arena" That has come true for me.

    But as I said before... I was and am not destined to academia, which is what staying in the Foundation would have meant to me. Same reason I declined going to college, as I already had the next forty years of my life planned out.

    Perhaps this dialogue would be better by email not to clog up Lee's brilliant blog. My email is: I'd be more than happy to exchange with you that way. -Richard


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