Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Different Wholeness of Being

 I spend a good deal of time studying this condition of inner energy. It does not have to go away; maybe my experience is that it comes and goes, and that it's rare, or can only be available under certain conditions, but this experience limits the question to what I know, and I must push past that into the territory that I don't know.

Everything is energy; everything is forces. The body is energy and forces; my impression of it is energy and forces. So with enough sensitivity, and a right understanding, a transformation of Being within this context can take place. And then there is a service that takes place to the energy itself, which is what creates everything in the first place.

This type of action is very different than what I want for myself. It's participation in what is wanted for everything; and there is a Wish that lies at the root of everything, which I ought to be responsible to. That wish is not a wish just for people I know, my dog, or the tree up on the hill. The Wish is universal; and this is what needs to be sensed, because in the end all wishes are one Wish, and the Wish is a Wish expressed by the entire universe, constantly, everywhere, at all times. Not just what I can wish in my limited way.

In a certain sense, only by extinguishing my own wish can I become open to this universal Wish. If we were speaking in terms of the enneagram, we'd call it Desire; the inevitable impulse of everything, the instant it becomes material, to return to its source.

The inner energy, which is actually just expressed in me — I experience it as inner, but it is universal, just like the Wish — is always vibrating, always singing. Every cell wants to sing with it at all times; every organ, every nerve, has the same Wish, on its own level, to be part of an unflagging expression. Yet mostly, I'm dead to it; and even though it is not dead to me — the music is always playing — I don't attend to a support for this. If I were just intimate enough, if I were willing to participate in the root of this action, it would be quite different.

The inner energy calls me to a quietness that is quite different from my interference. If I study myself within the context of this expression, at all times in life, I'll see that almost everything I do has an unnecessary element to it. There can be a different wholeness of Being that acquires its value from Being itself, not from this outer action; and the outer action must be dropped. The only thing that is necessary is to see how I am.

 But this abandonment is an abandonment within; a separation. It doesn't extinguish outer action. Outer action simply has its own realm of being, which is limited to the right action for outer nature.

So I see that there are two kinds of right action, right action for outer nature, and right action for inner nature, which must not be mixed.

 May your soul be filled with light.

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