Tuesday, December 25, 2012
An ocean of Grace
We are like water; the vessels of our bodies and our lives fill up with the impressions of life itself, and the endless Grace that, sensed or unsensed, conscious or unconscious, accompanies them.
All of the impressions of life that flow inward are formed exclusively through Love, and bestowed exclusively through Grace; whether I honor them or fail them, their quality never changes. They enter me intact as emanations of the Lord; they dwell in me intact, as emanations of the Lord. Only my respect and valuation of them can be upheld and honored, or cast down and damaged, according to both my inner and outer attitudes.
When I do this, I am never damaging the Lord, but only myself, because I can do no damage to the Lord— only to my relationship with Him. All of the damage I ever do is my own damage, and never belongs to the Lord, because the relationship is always Holy and Loving from His end. Nothing of the made world, which was created through Love, can ever have any other quality; and even the worst of the made world is contained through Grace so that forgiveness is ever present and ever possible, and good will always eventually come of it... whether I can see that or not, and no matter how skeptical I am.
I am a place filled with water, a mirrored basin. The hills and mountains of life send rivers of experience down into me; they flow slowly or quickly, according to their nature; I receive them. They collect and form the substance both of Self and being. Within their depths, there is a quietness and a silence that accords to all deep bodies of water.
Generally, I don't sense how this is within me; yet, if I approach the Lord in humility, I may sense this stillness, with the waves of the Lord's Grace moving like ripples over the surface of what I have received so far, gently reminding me of the ocean of Grace which he has filled me with up until this point of my life.
This stillness itself is a gift of Grace; and if I am fortunate, if Grace grants me this inner vision of mystery, of ripples moving slowly across the darkness of the water within the Self of the soul, then perhaps I begin to know something of my relationship, which cannot be drawn into cups and measured.
I am a creature of measurement; yet I come from the immeasurable, dwell within it, and will return to it. These are understandings that can only be touched upon; it is only in awe, and acknowledging my own ignorance — on my knees, symbolically speaking — that I can come to the Lord.
Seeking the inner Self, remembering the Self, searching within for Truth; all of this is to search for this ocean of Grace within me, which takes in the whole part of Being and encompasses everything. I don't even know that I stand on its shores; yet its waters are vast, and without compromise.
I stand on the shores and see that I know nothing; yet, ignorant though I am, the Lord radiates his infinite Mercy and Forgiveness, even for my insufficiency.
And every morning, as I awaken, He is willing to be born in this day within my Heart, no matter how poor a vessel it is, if only I make room for Him.
May your soul be filled with light.