Friday, October 12, 2012

To be worthy

What does it mean to be worthy?

 In examining this question from within myself, I find that the difficulty is that we always seek our own worth.

 We seek our worth through ourselves; and we seek our worth through works, things that we do. We seek our worth through ideas, achievements, loyalties, faith, and duty; we even seek it through the things we own. But no matter how we seek our own worth, the worth we seek is always our own worth.

 Here is the issue. We have no worth of our own. A man or a woman only has worth through God's worth; and we can only ever only become worthy through God. So the action of God within a man or woman is worthy, but the man or the woman is not worthy of themselves. I am not worthy; I don't begin worthy, or end worthy. But the action of God is worthy, and insofar as I am within the action of God, in relationship with that action, then,  there is worthiness.

A sense of God's action is not a sense of my own action. Every object, event, circumstance, and condition is worthy, because all of them belong to God; none of them belong to me, although I mistakenly think, because I am in relationship to their impressions, that they do. All of it belongs to God and is worthy through God. I don't bring one iota of my own worthiness to it; their worthiness begins before I begin and ends after I end. It is only to the extent that I'm in relationship with this that I understand. I'm called to this relationship. It is forever present, but I am not.

God's Generosity and Mercy is great; do you understand this? In fact, It has no limit, and is inconceivable. In the midst of this bounty, this endless blessing that flows forever before and after me, I somehow want to be a leader, instead of following. I want my own worth; not the worth of God, which  comes first and comes last. So I'm always confused, and I never feel worthy. I have laid my pennies up in the wrong treasury.

It's quite important to begin to sense this action of God within the Self, to lay oneself out within one's life, on the floor of one's life, not in abasement, but out of gratitude, recognizing where I am and what is possible for me. In the sacrifice of my own value, I lose nothing and gain everything. There is the possibility of becoming a perfect expression of God's value; but it is only through the expenditure of every atom of value I believe I have or that I believe I own. It is what I believe that's in the way; if I believe nothing, I gain the world. To empty myself of my own beliefs is to leave room for God to believe within me.

The sweetness and compassion that the Lord sends in this action of submission is incomparable; and nothing could be more desired. Yet men and women turn their faces towards themselves, and ask for what they do not own and can never belong to them, all in pursuit of this idea of worthiness, which cannot be attained. No wonder souls seek themselves in desperation; no wonder our emotional lives are in turmoil and depression. We do not turn our hearts, our minds, and our bodies towards God.

And this idea of God? It is nothing like my idea. God is an idea unto God, not an idea unto man. We have taken this, like everything else, and tried to make it our own property, instead of patiently waiting for the Lord to show Himself, according to his own graces.

I respectfully hope you will take good care.

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