Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Back To Gravity

I haven't been posting much lately. We'll make this one brief.

One of the consequences of the retreat week I went on during the month of July was a realization that there are some things one just mustn't ever, ever speak about. It was a sobering realization, one that raised new questions about what we do and do not understand, and the absolute limits of what can be exchanged, even among the closest spiritual friends.

One may come to a moment in one's work where one sees this. Perhaps everyone does; perhaps only some people do; perhaps it's not required of everyone, or at all times. I can hardly claim to know. What is certain to me is that there are good and sufficient reasons for the "secrecy" that Mr. Gurdjieff called his followers to. Not the reasons one might think; simply because the reasons can't be thought, they must be experienced in an inner sense.

Furthermore, the things that need to remain secret have nothing whatsoever to do with the secular aspects of spiritual work: The outer events (meetings or otherwise), organizational issues, faces turned to the public, and so on. Maintaining secrecy in these matters is simply preparation for the more esoteric forms of secrecy, which must be preserved in one's own inner work.

The more quietly a man or woman goes on their path, the more time they may have to stop and see something quite remarkable.

They may even find the time to see a spider eat her web, for example.

Once again, all this calls into question the reasons for continuing to maintain this space and offer writings on my personal experiences- and thoughts about- inner work. Once again, I ponder the possibility of bringing the effort to a respectable and intentional end.

So, in any event-- yea or nay-- I find myself back in the midst of this life, contemplating inner gravity: contemplating the call and response of prayer, the effort to open to a relationship which consists not so much of accepting as of offering,

and waiting.

May our hearts be opened, and our prayers be heard.



3 comments:

  1. In my experience, there are "moments of perception" that cannot be put in words, that leave no possibility to "share" them using words as far as them will never convey the meaning needed to "undestand" that experience.

    Maybe that's the real "esoteric" side of all. Words appeal to the experience of the listener or the reader (whatever it may be).

    So, please keep your records alive... You help us to maintain our search... as blind as it may be.

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  2. In his book, Heart Without Measure, Ravi Ravindra described a conversation with Madame de Salzmann in which she replied to something he was saying with the question, "Did you help?"

    I maintained a daily blog related to internal work (as I understood it) for over two years, for a handful of readers. Often, I felt much of what you describe in this post. Several times, I almost stopped, but one or another reader would let me know that they were "helped" by something I had posted. Because of Madame de Salzmann's question, I continued.

    I did finally stop, when what I was posting began to seem useless to my readers, even though they never said so specifically.

    For what it's worth, though I've only read your blog for a few months, it has been a help to me. That is not reason enough to continue if it no longer helps you, but I wanted to let you know.

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  3. Walt, Ravi was pissed with the group leader claiming something about the "energy" not being right. Madame de Salzmann was basically raising the question as to what kind of an effect his complaining had on the situation.

    Can't say more, sorry. ;)

    All this other stuff about "useful" or "useless" ought to be in regards to aim. If one's aim, for example, is to study how crack addicts behave when high then giving them crack would be useful.

    I'm sure there'd be plenty of people who disagree with that premise to conduct the second force.

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