Saturday, February 21, 2009

To intimately explore nature

How do I find a way, in the midst of this confusing life, immersed within technologies that consume us, to become more intimate with myself?

Intimacy is not a matter of thinking about intimacy. When I think about it, it doesn't exist. Intimacy begins before there is any intimacy, and ends after it is over.

In the same way that the universe is woven from threads of infinite love and compassion, so the very fabric of existence is an infinite fabric of intimacy.

This intimacy is so great that it refuses to obey the laws of physics. Nothing is local; everything exists together within one place, in one single time, entangled so that communication is instantaneous, not limited by the speed of light.

It's not the purpose to expound intellectually on this matter today, but those who are more interested in this subject are encouraged to read this month's issue of Scientific American. The article raises questions that definitely astound.

So.

It is one thing to write a scientific article about this matter; those of us who do inner work are intimately exploring the actual state of nature, not the idea of the state of nature.

What is the state of nature?
Do I know the state of nature?
Can the state of nature be known?

The body is an instrument for measuring the state of nature. The mind calibrates both the equipment and its results. The emotion takes measurements in. Together, three centered being--the initial expression of awareness within the bodhi-dharma-- has the potential to explore places Einstein himself did not even know existed.

These are the spaces inside us where the conceptual constructs of physics are in actual activity at all times.

The quantum level is not an idea or something that takes place outside us; I am that level.

Local reality is not something that takes place out there. I am local reality.

Man himself is an absolute expression of the absolute.

My separation arises from a wish for separation. It is not accidental; it is willed by the ego and the erroneous thinking of the conceptual mind. Only if I step past that--what Dogen described, in his enlightenment experience, as "dropping off body and mind" -- may I begin to discover how not-separated I actually am.

I stand perpetually, directly on the threshold of this understanding, and yet I cannot clarify the understanding.

Even to sit for many hours may not clarify the understanding. Zazen -- the act of seeing -- must take place always and everywhere. It must become intimate-- sexual, unforgiving and perpetual.

Am I up to this demand?

I cannot know with this mind; I can only work within working. Deepening intimacy, deepening compassion, until intimacy and compassion are surrendered completely, and there is a discovery of the intimate and compassionate silence that precedes intimacy and compassion.

How temporary! How ephemeral!
Clouds come and go within me;
The sun shines, and then it rains.

May our hearts be opened, and our prayers be heard.

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